The other day, Mark went in to wake up Zachary.

“Daddy,” he said, “I want to marry a lot of girls.”

Gulp.

“But if I can only marry one, then I’ll just marry one.”

I was working in the two year old room, and one little girl, who just turned two started singing (to the tune of “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga)

“Rah, Rah, Rock-a-baby! Rah, Rah, Rock-a-baby!” I nearly died from laughing. Lady Gaga, has finally conquered the minds of all.

On a side note, my camp kids know that if they sing a few bars of “Bad Romance” that catchy number from hell is stuck in my head for days. Lady Gaga is truly evil.

I found this photo on my IPhone and jazzed it up at picnik.com. Since I mention no names, I figure its okay to share on the blog. Before I student teach I’ll put it up in the classroom for them.

Here are two portraits of me created by my before and after students. Not too bad looking! At least they didn’t make me look like the Stay Puff Marshmallow man with glasses.

See how in the first portrait how I am wearing a sleeveless pink dress? That happens about once every ten years. Very observant! Also, in the second portrait you can see my giant, orange heart. So true, I wear my heart, big and orange, on my chest everytime I teach. :)

Cute pictures of Zach and his friend at the Thanksgiving party.

Yesterday it was raining so the Kindergarteners and I were engaging in some free drawing with stencils and a few quick Halloween drawing lessons given by me.

Here is how you draw a bat, a pumpkin, an alien, etc. They responded well.

One little boy came to me to show me his turtle. “Look at my turtle Ms. Kari,” he said. Great, great, I told him.

He drew two long lines coming from the turtle’s mouth. “Ms. Kari. What is this?” he said pointing to the animal. “It’s like a turtle with two really big, long sharp teeth?”

Ah, um, a turtle with long fangs? I’m drawing a blank here. “I don’t know.”

Ten minutes or so pass.

“A walrus?” I ask him. “Did you mean a walrus?”

“Oh, yeah, a walrus!” he replied.

New title: preschool art interpreter.

My feet have been killing me so at lunch the other day, I finally broke down and bought a pair of super comfy Anne Klien sneaker-hybrid shoes.

They feel glorious.

Unfortunately, when I came back, I was the only one not wearing flip flops or skimpy shoes.

Both bathrooms were flooded. Our janitor was on vacation. Do you see where this is headed?

I ended up spending 20 minutes plunging and mopping the bathrooms.

My poor new shoes. Luckily it was “clear water” and no floating extras if you know what I mean. 

So now that I teach the after school Kindergarten sessions, I’m noticing some differences between five and two -year olds.

Number one being: the new game of doctor is now massage therapist.

These massage therapists are more like the ones on 80s soap operas, not like the real life ones. They tend to conduct their massages under picnic tables. And I am now on serious massage therapist patrol during outside time. No butt massages on my watch!! Neva, eva, eva!

According to my enlightened co-workers, this behavior is pretty normal for this age group. Kids have a brief interest in the opposite sex around this age. It doesn’t truly re-appear until somewhere in the tweens, where it usually manifests as something pretty harmless.

 They never mentioned this in the description of Kindergarteners hand out in my class last year. One of the many things a Master’s degree does not prepare you for.

Wow, I’m not much of a blogger anymore. Not that anything isn’t happening, oh hell yes it is. It’s been hard to get to a computer at work.

One that doesn’t have Sims 3 on it anyway.

I spend my days telling two year-olds what do, and praising them when they do it well on their own. I also work with a woman who acts like another giant two year-old that I must also keep in line with mini M&Ms.

Since she’s deathly afraid of computers, I have zero fear that she’ll read this blog by chance and read through the lines that I’m talking about her. The problem is she isn’t good at being told, “STOP! You’re risking the lives of children!” She turns beat read, flicks her hair, and resembles Kathy Bates in the movie Misery. It doesn’t help that she indeed looks like a plus-sized version of Kathy Bates in Misery.

Unlike the Kathy Bates, this woman is not only crazy, she’s about twenty marks below the 100 line on the old I.Q. I seriously wish I could share all my stories. They are quite funny, crazy and would probably cause mass panic. She can do one hell of an “Animal Boogie,” laughs a lot, and when she is cheerful she is very, very cheerful and when she is sad, she is…..