I have a brand new, all glass, read your body fat, edge of technology scale. But now it has turned on me.The other morning I got on the scale, buck naked, afraid to see the aftermath of being less than religious with my diet on vaccation. The number was four pounds down! I broke the barrier I was trying to pass! I got off, and got back on again. YES! I had lost weight.

At my diet center we are asked to come in and get weighed (for accountability) three times a week

I admit I’m a bit neurotic, so I weigh in the mornings and wear the lightest thing possible after several checks on the scale.

I usually weigh in on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Well, because Zach was sick I hit the Wednesday weigh-in crowd and there was quite a morning rush.

One man was in a huge over-sized tee shirt, flannel pajama bottoms; he was quite scruffy with only socks on his feet, no shoes. He was called back to the scales before me.

On my way back I commented, “Pajamas? I never thought about using that as a standard for weighing yourself,” I joked.

“Oh, he always comes in like that. Today he said he didn’t even shower and he didn’t have any shoes on.”
“Really?” I pondered.

“Yeah, he’s a child psychologist.”
What?

Does that explain the behavior? Is he trying to tap into a 12 year-old boy’s secret desires?
Maybe I’m wrong but I thought a child psychologist is who you went to when your child acted like that.

Then again, it could be that it’s a match made in heaven.

I’m so very close to my first 20 pounds lost. Just a few pounds (less than 3.) Numbers are following me, 40s, 20s, 8s….in a good way. For some reason I may have found new motivation, a dieting second wind per se.

Then I found this site called My Virtual Model where you can make a virtual model showing your current weight and depicting your weight loss journey.

Oh, the lovely image even makes overweight people look much better than they do in real life. But you can see the difference and my progress so far.

So much more motivational than say, a real swimming suit.

Okay, after only 8 weeks on a diet I’ve become obsessed with being a size 8. That’s the next size down for me and I’m still  very much on the boarder. In all fairness I have at least 10 pounds to go before I’m in that size. Still, sizes vary.

I started this diet party in a size 12 and now some of my 10s are getting to big, so what do I do? I go to Old Navy (notoriously small) and try on several size 8 pants. A couple actually fit; only one was truly a good fit, so….I bought them.
Never mind that they are kind of weird looking black pants with a satin tux-like stripe down the side. Nope. They were a size 8, and I had to have them.

Oh well, a questionable fashion purchase is better than a fast-food binge, right? It’s the small rewards. I haven’t had the guts to get a pair of non-fitting eights and gage my process. Something about that reminds me going to the “scary place.”

My grandmother, who was never overweight in her life, once said that if she needed (or wanted) to lose weight she would buy a party dress in a size too small (or her ideal size) and diet until it fit. Of course, I highly doubt she ever dieted for eight weeks. She was more into the starve now for quicker gratification later diets.

Another suggestion on her diet plan was to only eat half what what you would normally eat. If you were going to have a sandwich, only eat half. An orange, only eat half. I don’t know about you, then but I’m still hungry for the other half.

I made a choice this weekend that is pretty extreme, but in a good way. I figure that making an extreme goal and a extreme change that I cannot go back on could be the best thing I’ve ever done.

I’m normally not a person of extremes. I like change but it rarely is impulsive. To me impulsive is getting married within six months of engagement, which is what I did. Impulsive is trying to get out of your lease two months early or buying a house after a month of consideration. So, you can tell, I’m not really the “What happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas kind of girl.

I’m looking forward to seeing if I work well with extremes or I’ll go into shock. Sometimes a little shock can probably be a good thing.

So, right now I’m listening to the audio book “You, On a Diet.” This book, of course, promises to be the next big thing in diets.

God help me. I’ve also just read The Low GI Diet, and last year I read “French Women Don’t Get Fat” and I’ve been on Weight Watchers about 5 times.

I don’t understand why I always fail. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong all the time. I can’t be a millitant person with food. Its not like I eat Oreos all day.

So, back to the diet book. I have no idea. I keep thinking if keep reading about being a successful weight loss person, I’ll suddenly be one. I have stripped my GI foods down and cut out most bread, potatoes, corn, snacky food and sweets. 

Blah, diets suck. Its like when I smoked a pack a day, I’d fantasize about not being addicted. It took me five years of attempting to quit every six months to finally break the bond. A good friend of mine lost over 100 pounds on diet. How does that happen? How can you make radical changes like that. It’s like the man who smokes three packs a day, throws out his cigaretts and never goes back. I guess that’s not me.

I have a problem.

I’m mindless. I’m a mindless eater and I’m a mindless drinker. And it’s because I can’t convince myself to care enough to watch what I do on a regular basis.

I also can’t convince myself to exercise on a regular basis. I feel I need to do a major work or nothing. Then I emotionally beat myself up for not watching what I eat or exercising. In addition to all that, I’ve got a million excuses for throwing the plans out the window for the smallest reason (I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I’m stressed. I need a break. You get the idea.)

I’ve tried Weight Watchers, which is an amazing program, but I always cheat. I get burned out. I think things should happen much sooner than they do. When I try to take the scenic route and go slow and steady through weight loss, I tend to meander until I’m lost.

Granted, I’ve made some major changes to my diet in the past 10 years since college. I still do not exercise enough or limit my calories. I’m not consistently mindful.

So I’m trying a new program that is FREE and on-line. It’s called www.sparkpeople.com.

It’s all about setting tiny, tiny goals for your self and then meeting them.

In all honesty, I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and never exercise. Like most people I want a magic bullet. But the only magic that may come to my dieting situation is me magically caring more about what I put into my body.

Since I was a smoker who rarely exercised for many years, I already have a track record for not being quiet successful with that. But I finally kicked that nasty-ass habit, so I hope that one day, a healthy steady weight will also be within my reach.

I found out why I cannot lose these extra 30 pounds. It’s scientific brain stuff. See this excerpt from Oprah.com.

[Simply put, the theory behind it goes like this: We all naturally tend to process information, solve problems and relate to others in a particular way, and such inclinations roughly correspond to four different quadrants of the brain — two on the right, two on the left. These preferences are like mental defaults your brain automatically resorts to when evaluating the world unless otherwise prompted and most people employ some combination of quadrants.

• “A” quadrant (upper left): People who favor this area are analytical, mathematical, logical problem solvers. Drawn to statistics and the workings of machinery, they can overanalyze a situation so much they have trouble taking action.

• “B” quadrant (lower left): These people are controlled, methodical, disciplined sticklers for structure and routine. Punctual and neat, they always have a plan, timetable and calendar with appointments penciled in.

• “C” quadrant (lower right): Lower-right thinkers are emotional, spiritual and focused on people and human connection. (This is me, I believe.)

• “D” quadrant (upper right): “D” types are strongly visual and easily bored, attracted to new ideas, fun and risk taking.

Which quadrant makes a successful dieter?

“We found that those with the most dramatic losses scored noticeably higher in favoring ‘B,’ the lower left,” says Treitler.]

DRAT! That explains why my good friend was successful at Weight Watchers the FIRST time and has never had a problem with weight since. [See her cool blog at http://thecasualperfectionist.com.] While I am on my fourth or fifth time at the WW but always run out of steam and slack off and never lose more than 10 pounds. This is not good news for me. Is Oprah a B? If so, that means that even type B people will succum to fad diets, as well.

I’m sure its not all the fact that I am a type C. Those two or three glasses of wine I drink per night and my complete and utter lack of exercise should take most of the blame. Since I can’t blame genetics or my thyroid, I can still point to something, crutch-worthy or not.