I could never hire a dog poop service.

It would give away the horrors of our household.

Today I picked up dog poop with flecked multi-colors in it.

It was a dead give-away. Zach had fed Molly crayons.

Thank God they are non-toxic.

Everest constantly has poop filled with baby socks. God only knows how that dog locates, then chews, and digests (mostly) baby socks.

Frankly, it’s frighening.

I can tell where many toys that are missing have ended up just by the weekly poop patrol.

Of course, our house is very clean and we have very inventive dogs. Most of my Star Wars toys, as a child, ended up in the jaws of a dogs. To which my mom usually utter, “That’ll learn ya!” or something to that effect.

But given their will, growing up on a farm and all, I can tell you, dogs, given the chance will eat, much, much worse things.

Since the day is uber depressing with the stock market/ bailout failure issues. Here is a funny picture of Zach exposing his killer abs. (Photo by Matt)

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Jennifer, was.  

Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian volunteered, ‘I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.’

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, ‘Ever since your mother came to dinner, I ‘ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?’

Brian said, ‘Well, I doubt it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:

 Dear Mom,

I’m not saying that you ‘did” take the gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that you “did not” take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

   Love, Brian

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his  mother that read:

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Jennifer, I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with Jennifer.  But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

            Love, Mom

It’s Friday!!! Yeah!!

Do you hear that Monday? You are long way away!!!

Or should I say, Tuesday, when my last class takes place and my final group presentation. I’m presenting on the future of on-line education for public schools. I have to figure out how to show everyone Second Life. That apparently is the wave of the future for teaching.

Vitural teachers.

In the future, I may virtually be a teacher.

A lot of women say, “I’m not voting for her just because she has a uterus.”
How do we know she has a uterus? Maybe she doesn’t have one anymore.
Just saying.
Maybe we should ask her. Then maybe we wouldn’t have to hear that quip anymore.

Of course then they may say the bolder more graphic “I’m not voting for Sarah Palin just because she has a vagina.” Which, she probably still has.

It’s not like people are going around saying, “I’m not voting for Obama just because he has a higher amount of the dark brown pigment melanin.”

Even though, you know, they may want to.

Last night Zach was in one of his, shall we say, fragile moods. Lots crying about everything, most of the night.

While getting him dressed for bed, I found a T-Shirt I bought in impulse at Rite Aid that said, “I don’t have an off button.” To try and lighten the mood I put it on him and told him to “Go show Daddy.” He did, and we had a chuckle.

Well, this morning the joke’s on us, because he refused to take it off. So, we sent him to daycare with a shirt that basicly says to the daycare providers, “Yes, my child is difficult and I’m proud.” Yikes.

It reminds me of the time I was working at a big box baby store and two identical twins, about five or six years old, were ripping through the store. Each had a shirt on that read “I’m the evil twin.”

The parent’s seemed to be taking it all in stride.

I guess you could consider it a warning label.

I get the eye rolls.

Oh yes.

He’s only two, but my son thinks I’m a dork, worthy of eye rolls. Great, bring on the next 16 years!

I also get mocked.

The other day while driving to work I was singing to the music. I look in my rear view mirror and I see Zach silently opening and shutting his mouth, immitating me….while rolling his eyes. The show ended with his squinted eyes and screwed up face to show his annoyance at his dork mother.

I laughed. It was funny. But I stopped singing.

Nobody thinks their parent is cool, but I didn’t think this opinion was formed so young.

I have two clasess a week in October. One is up in Westminster, which will be a drive after work. And it’s a MATH CLASS (eeeeeek!!)

I have done the math review and the math refresher and I’m feeling pretty good. As long as they don’t throw some calc at me (AHHHHHHH!) I think I’ll be okay.

Those of you who know math and know me, I know your phone number so watch out!

Here’s a frightening story. The last time I attempted a math class my math book was peed on by someone I didn’t know. The book was destroyed and I got a D. College is good for those gross tales.

On Saturday we went to The Colorado Railroad museum again to see Thomas the Tank engine.

All I can say is, the Thomas industry must rake in the cash.

We watched Thomas chug around a track and met Sir Topham Hat. Both boys screamed “No!” when posing with him and Zach was physically shaking. In all honestly, I don’t blame them. He walked around with his big bloated head like a drunk person being lead by a guide. It was a little bit freaky.

The funniest was when a local weather forcaster in her early 20s attempted story time. She obviously did not prep for it. She lifted up the book called “Percy’s bath” or something like that and pointed to the green engine (eh um) and said, “Look how dirty Thomas is!” To which several kids yelled, “That’s Percy!”

Tee, hee.

I obviously would have gotten that wrong on spot, pre-children, but I also value a little prep time.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npP73QIApFE

Click the link and watch this video. Does it make you laugh? Well it makes me laugh a lot and my husband…not so much. Doce. com said that she felt it was a test to see how much you have in common with your spouse. If you agreed to hate or love it, it said a lot about your relationship.
I agree. We don’t agree on a lot.

Although I have a new line to use on Zach.

“You pretty little boy. I see you up in your highchair demanding more apple juice. Well you already have apple juice.” -Mark