The “No” boy
There is a second grader in our school’s before and after program that is a tough cookie.
He’s smart, he’s helpful and I like him a lot but he isn’t often nice to peers.
He says bad things to them, hits them, takes away toys, and when the victim tells of their injustice lies about what happened, even in the face of many witnesses.
On top of that when he has to pay the piper for this bad behavior he gives us a big fat “No.”
Blah! I’ve called mom at work. We’ve physically moved him to the office. I’ve withheld good things and pushed rewards.
We even talked about him as a subject tonight in class. I am supposed to ask my office staff for more support. Ha. Not likely.
He told the office that he lies because we don’t give him a chance to tell his case. How is that possible? I let him tell his side of the story before making any accusations.
It’s hard when one student tell me “He ripped the toy out of my hands and then slapped me across the face with it.” Then his side of the story is about how the other student dropped the toy and he picked it up and skipped off with it into a field of daisies.
Seriously I am at wits end.Unfortunately, the last two hours of the day neither he nor I have the energy for this struggle every day. I just want to kick back, do art and have fun not deal with his abusiveness to his peers. Maybe I should tell him that.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
How does his teacher deal with it all day?
December 17th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Welcome to the Bad Side of Teaching. There are students who do not belong in the mainstream, and yet that is precisely where they are. Consider the time and attention that is going into that one kid. And will anything change? No. So here is the hardest advice I can give you: Sometimes you simply have to realize that the rest of the class deserves you, too. Isolate problems and problem kids - physically from the other kids, and emotionally from your psyche. You will not save them all. Some teachers try and try and try. They think that if THEY just find the right words, or the right strategy, the problem kids will have an “AHA MOMENT”, slap himself on the head and say “Now I know what I’ve been doing wrong and I will never ever do it again.” Ain’t going to happen. Concentrate on the other kids - they need you, too.
December 18th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Good advice. This kid really is trying to make up for the attention he is not getting at home. Luckily for me and him a member of the administration has started working with him one on one the last two brutal hours of the day (4 p.m. - 6 p.m. does this kid have a long day or what?) and that one on one time is helping. It sucks when he’s constantly beating on kids for attention and all you can do is put him in a corner. Blah.